How Come?
by one-tear
Summary: Spoilt. Ungrateful for the things she has. Then she stumbles upon the Sohmas. And Tohru, who's so much more unluckier than her. She learns ... and even learns a secret about herself.
1. A summer we all want to think through

First things first. **Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Fruits Basket characters.** There. I'm just doing this so I don't get sued. I heard. Anyway, this story's a pretty long one. It's actually sort of an introduction. Sort of like a prologue. But I never like to read prologues or introductions. So I didn't call this 'chapter' a prologue or labeled it an introduction. It's a chapter. You have to read it to be able to understand what'll going on ... in the next few chapters. Actually, it's just the writing style that's the problem.

This part is pretty long, though. If you hate to read long stories, just don't say that I didn't warn. But please, if you could, if you had just five minutes or less to spare, please read this story! It's a fan fiction of, obviously, Fruits Basket. I spent hours doing this. It's my first one, after all, and I even messed my own mind up with the writing style I was using. I wanted it to be clear to readers, so this chapter is neccessary. Sort of. So I spent hours doing this. I don't normally write fan fiction, but I just decided to give it a try. It'd be so much more meaningful if it had readers and viewers. Please do continue reading! Thanks a whole lot.

And I'd be even more thankful if you'd review to let me know that you read. Please?

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**Chapter One**

**A summer we all want to think through**

"Hey!" I heard a familiar voice cry out. In sheer joy. The next thing I knew, arms were flung around my neck and I was hyperventilating. I pushed Adrienne away quickly. As an act of defense. It was probably animal instinct – to want to push whatever's hurting far away. Or it was probably because I had been taking too many martial arts lessons from Kyo. I felt my cheeks flush at the thought of his name. Him. Quickly, I reminded myself to snap out of daydream land. I didn't want to get all high again at that thought of him.

Plus, Adrienne had bumped into the new guy who was squeezing his way through the columns of tables. I looked at her, cupping my mouth in disbelief that I had thrown her back. Her face showed that she was kind of hurt. "Oh gosh, Adrienne," I gushed out quickly, "I didn't mean to throw you back or anything. Sorry! You just took me by surprise. I'm so sorry." Quickly, I stood up and helped her brush imaginary dust off her blazer.

Adrienne gave me a weak grin. "It's okay," she said. Of course it'd be okay, I thought cheekily as I flashed a relieved smile at her. She always so understands.

This time, I pounced on her. "Hello!" I squealed – it was hard to contain my excitement. Seeing Adrienne reminded me that a new term was starting. And I missed her! It had been about two months since I had last seen her. And she was one of my best friends.

Adrienne laughed as she returned the hug. "Yeah. It's been pretty long since we've seen each other. I had to choke back my excitement when I saw your head!" Adrienne always understood. I let go. She let go. Adrienne settled down on my desk while I returned to my chair.

"So," Adrienne began, the usual perkiness shining in her eyes once again. Oh, I had missed that playful look inside her eyes. It's as if there's a little star jumping and dancing about in the back of her pretty blue-green eyes. I stretched my arms and began to slump in my seat. I was getting too comfortable.

"How has my favorite American-Japanese been doing?" she prompted again. It was like our code. She'd call me her 'favorite American-Japanese' and I'd call her my 'favorite French'. It's sort of like saying to each other that she's one of my most favorite people in the entire world. I know it's kind of lame, but hearing her say that to me makes me feel all … warm inside. It's good to know that one's loved. Or liked.

I thought. "Well …" began hesitantly, "I'm actually pretty fine!" It was almost like a declaration. Yes, I am fine! Compared to the Sohmas, who have to keep such dark secrets in their lives and cut out people from being close to them, I am fine. Compared to Tohru Honda whose parents have both died and left her alone in this world, I am fine! In fact, I mused to myself, I am one lucky kid. Once again, it's as if the clouds have cleared and I'm seeing the light in my life again. It's become a familiar feeling – ever since I stumbled upon the Sohmas' secret one dark night. They made me realize things I'd never have noticed. They made me into a happier person. I sighed happily, dreamily and turned to look out of the window, seeing the blue skies and cute, white clouds. I'm a lucky person. Ever since I met them, it's as if my life's transformed into a dream. I'm happier now.

Adrienne snapped her fingers. I turned around to face her, breaking away from my trancelike daze. Suddenly, Adrienne placed her warm hands on my cheeks, like a tender mother to her child. "Aw, Sayu," she cooed softly, like she always does when she's trying to cheer me up or something. Immediately, I knew something weird was up. "You don't have to put up a brave front."

She jumped down from the table and embraced me once again, then she let go and looked at me, staring straight into my eyes. Then she tucked a strand of hair behind my ear. I recognized that look suddenly. It came hitting me like a bullet – it was her sympathizing look! She always has that in her eyes whenever she's watching some documentary on a cancer patient's life or something. I remember seeing her like that when she watched this video clip called … ah, yes! It was called 'Her Struggle to Live'. Did she think I was having cancer?

"Huh?" I choked out, purely surprised.

"I know about you …" she told me, slowly, "the secrets you have had wanted to keep."

"Me?" After she mentioned the word 'secrets', I instantly thought about the Sohmas. Pictures of Shigure. Then there was Kyo and kind Yuki. And then there was the stud Haru. And then the super-cute Momiji. And then there's also Tohru. Had she found out about them as well? I was starting to hyperventilate. Had I somehow let the cat out of the bag? I thought worriedly. I chewed on my lip like I always do when I was anxious or worried or angry or scared or whatever. I was just so jumpy, I didn't think twice when I clutched Adrienne's shoulders, my nails digging into her blazer and demanding what she knew. "What do you know, Adrienne? How much do you know? How did you find out?"

Adrienne squirmed in my firm grip and said uncomfortably, "Man, you've got to relax! I wonder what you'll do I told you. You're acting so weird already!" Slowly, I loosened my hold on my and she peeled my fingers away. Then, she swept my messy fringe out my eyes and tucked some behind my ears. Then gently, she put my hands inside hers. I felt warmth radiating from her – but that didn't stop my heart from pounding a million times more than it was supposed to. I felt my chest growing tighter and tighter.

I couldn't bring myself to say anything. I didn't even know what to say.

"Listen. You must promise me not to freak out or die instantly when I tell you, okay?" Adrienne was using her baby-sitter tone with me. It's an order. I breathed in and breathed out and counted one to ten and did everything that was possible at that moment to calm myself down. I even thought of the calm ocean, but then without being conscious of it, my calm ocean turned into a stormy one. There was no way I could calm myself down!

"Tell me now, Addie! I … can't stand … the suspense … anymore!" I found myself saying.

Adrienne looked at me with worried eyes. Probably she thought that I wouldn't be able to handle the truth. Even I was not sure – would I be able to handle the truth? But I didn't care. I had to know the truth. Even if it would cause my heart to stop. Even if I had to be sent to the hospital because I would get a seizure. "Look, the whole town knows." That's it. I'm dead! "It's only natural that I would hear of it. Everyone's talking about it." Why am I still living? My eyes grew so wide, I could feel them splitting apart. My heart was going to stop any second now, I could feel it. "I'm so sorry about it, Sayu, I know you love him!" Yes, I do. Yes, I do. Yes, I do. I nodded furiously, tears flowing down my eyes like a stream. My head started to grow light. The room started spinning. "Dave was such a jerk. And Katrina – God, she was such a bitch."

The last words took forever to come to me! But when they did – I suddenly realized what had been going on. God, she was talking about my relationship with Dave. Oh God, why hadn't I realized that? Yes, I knew the whole town knew about it. Dave and Katrina, the two people whom Sayu trusted most in the entire world, had a thing going on behind my back. Yes, I do know that everyone's been talking about it. Yes, I knew! Oh, I should have pieced it up. But I was stupid enough to think about the Sohmas. Gosh, I didn't do anything to let the secret slip out, so why did I even worry? Without knowing, I smiled. I smiled! Then I started to giggle.

"Sayu?" Adrienne whispered, her voice dangerously hushed. Then quickly, she placed her hand on my forehead. "Oh, God … you're not sick! Damn, Sayu, what's wrong with you?"

I laughed even harder. I wondered what _they_ would do if they heard of this. It was so stupid! "No, it's nothing. I was not worried about Dave. I … I thought you found out about …" – oops, grave danger – "something else." I wiped my tears away, which were now replaced with ones because of my wanting to laugh so hard, but keeping it inside. Adrienne was now giving me one of her looks. The kind which you wouldn't want to receive. She kept her eyes locked with mine. Then my eyes started to dart around the classroom. Then I took out my bag and fiddled with the things inside, hoping to be able to find something that would change the subject. "Ah! Look, chips!" I exclaimed and whipped out my secret weapon. A bag of chips. Even though I kind of ate three-quarters of it two days ago. And it's been in this bag ever since. I held it out in front of her face – "You want some?"

Adrienne wrinkled her nose and looked down at my packet of chips. Slowly and gingerly, she reached in and picked out a soft and damp chip. "Ew," she said. Exactly what I thought. Ew. Then Adrienne took a tiny bite out of it. And swallowed it with a disgusted look on her face. Then she threw the remaining chip on the floor and squished it under her new pair of Converse sneakers. "You know what, I'd recommend you feed it to Jenna," she managed to joke weakly. Which meant that she was actually quite okay? I mean, she joked. Adrienne never joked if she was feeling really mad or something. I laughed at what she said. Jenna, by the way, was our sworn enemy ever since middle school.

"Yeah," I finally decided to say.

"Okay," Adrienne said slowly.

We both stayed still and gazed at each other in an uncomfortable silence. I think Adrienne was rather hurt that I would keep something from her, because, after all, I knew she didn't keep things from me. She told me everything that happened to her – from her boyfriend matters to her own insecurity matters. And I know that she's such a good soul. I really do. That's why I love her. I couldn't stand her thinking that I wouldn't trust her with my secrets just as she trusted me with hers! I didn't want to lose her. "Listen," I began slowly, deciding to explain certain matters to her. Adrienne perked up a bit. "Whatever that I kept from you … it isn't really my secret to begin with. It's a secret I'm keeping for somebody else. And I really, truly, sincerely can't tell you. I want to. But I can't tell. I mean, I know you'll keep a secret safe, but I can't just tell you because I trust you. It's not my secret – it's theirs. And what kind of a friend would I be if I just told you without them even knowing? I really can't bring myself to do it. I'm so – '

Adrienne grinned and placed a finger on my lips. "Don't be sorry!" she exclaimed as if she had just read my mind, "This is exactly the reason why I trust you, you know?"

I grinned. Adrienne – I was so lucky to have her. I'd never seen how lucky I was. But now I do. I mean, I have someone I can share my secrets with. And this very person also understands if I don't want to share secrets with her. She's so amazing. I hugged her. "Thank you so much. You don't know how much your understanding means to me."

"What kind of a friend did you think I was?" she told me teasingly.

Then we had a little chat. About almost anything that was under the sun that we could think of. We talked a little bit about Dave. Then I asked about her summer and she said that she had the most amazing holiday in Hawaii showing off her bikinis and meeting cute guys. That's when suddenly, a guy stepped into the classroom and rapped his long, wooden ruler at the door.

"Everyone!" he announced as he continued to rap the wooden ruler on the door.

Adrienne sat up straight. "Gosh, you know what I heard?" she asked me, whispering and her lips were barely moving. She had sort of mastered the art of talking with lips barely moving. It was essential, especially when you lived in a world full of teachers who disallowed you to talk during class time. Adrienne's eyes were at the guy who made his way into the classroom. He didn't look any older than our age! "We've got a special teacher for this new term. They told me that he was going to be pretty young; around our age. I didn't believe it. But now I do. I think our new teacher is he." What? I silently observed him. I was sure Adrienne was, too. He looked so … young. He looked so fifteen or sixteen. He looked like one of us.

"You," he thundered and pointed his long, wooden ruler at Adrienne. "Get your butt out of her desk."

Adrienne pressed her lips together and mouthed to me, "Bye." Then she scampered to her desk awkwardly. She's usually graceful. But this teacher was so scary; he probably made her heart shiver. I don't know for sure. But he did make me feel kind of frightened.

He didn't seem to have carried much with him. Except for that long, wooden ruler which he probably planned to use to rap doors and point accusingly at others. And his pencil case. And clipped upon his collar was a pair of thick rimmed glasses. "I don't know if you've even heard of me before, but I'm going to be instructing you on this lesson – which is Psychology. Yes, it's …"

He was interrupted by a knock on the door. We all sat, silent. But we were all silent only because we were so taken aback, so shocked and astonished that we couldn't find the words to say anything. This boy was only fifteen or sixteen! "Yes, yes, I'm doing pretty fine," we all heard him say to another teacher, who was probably checking up on him. This boy. If I were him, I'd have been intimidated by now! I mean, he was teaching all these kids who were the same age as him. Why, it'd be easy to go against and defy him, wouldn't it? "Don't worry. I'm not going to get stage fright," he reassured the other teacher. Then the other teacher said something else which sounded like mumble-mumble to me. Then he replied calmly, "Yes, I'm aware that I can be easily disobeyed. I don't know what to expect. I don't want to expect too much. I …" then he got interrupted again. "I know. Okay, thanks for your concern!"

"Okay!" he said and walked to the front of the class once again, taking centre stage. "I'm going to hurry with the introductions. My name's Nathan. I wouldn't feel very comfortable with you guys calling me Mr. Nathan, so I propose that you'd just call me Nathan, okay? So it's settled?" he looked around the class. Nobody said a thing. "I suppose silence means consent! Now, I'll have you get to your first assignment."

I stifled a groan. There were some groans, but quite little. I guess we were still pretty shocked. The teacher, or Nathan, looked around our classroom before biting his lip. He looked rather amused. "So, are you all usually this quiet – or just still in shock?" he asked good-naturedly. He started to slump his shoulders. Then he raked his fingers through his crop of dirty blonde hair. Then he proceeded to the teacher's table, dragged the teacher's chair over to the front of the classroom and … pounced on it playfully! He put his legs over the arm of his chair and rested his back against the other arm. "Yo," he said.

I couldn't help but giggle. It was all too weird! It was as if the strict and intimidating persona of his was just an act!

"Yeah, I know it can be kind of weird having another person the same age as you being your teacher," he began, "But I'm hoping that it'll work out. I'll only be here for a little while only, after all. I'm not sure for how long, but I'm not going to be a permanent teacher. So! I hope that bit of information kind of helped? I mean, y'all can breathe now." He looked around the class. Again, we were still as tense. "Look, look, look!" he exclaimed, almost frustrated. He jumped out of his seat. "Okay, whatever. I'll give you your first assignment now." He stood in front of the board and paced up and down.

I sat up even straighter and brought out a notebook to take down things. "It's going to be about your summer holiday. I'm sure," he said, "that there are people who did things you regretted? Who have? Raise your hands."

I glanced at Katrina out of the corner of my eye. Her hand shot up almost immediately, amongst many others. I had that same feeling again. I almost felt like … forgiving her. But she betrayed me, for God's sake! I slapped my forehead. Even when she had told me more than a million times that I was her best friend. She was so … I shook my head, trying to shake the thoughts out of my mind. It's horrid. And they made me feel as if there was something wrong with me. They could have just told me straight out! Dave could tell me that he wasn't interested in our relationship anymore. Katrina could confess to me how she felt about Dave. I wouldn't have stopped them since there was nothing else that I could do! I couldn't voodoo Dave and use some weird hypnotizing thingy to make him fall for me, could I? But no. They had to secretly go out on dates, sneaking around here and there, making me sometimes pass messages to each other about their 'tuition' class. I was not only lied to, I was made use of. Boy, I must have been the most foolish girl there is.

"Now, who think that they've learnt something during their summer holiday? Raise your hands," Nathan's sharp voice pierced through my thoughts.

I thought about the many people I had met. I raised my hand.

This went on for several more times. Nathan asked if there was anything that we wanted to do, but didn't. Nathan asked if there were things we want to remember. Nathan asked if we had done anything to be proud of. "Alright!" he said and clapped his hands. "Now, who wants to remember their summer? Like, for example, perhaps we've done something wrong and actually learnt from it and we want to remember this lesson?"

I put up my hand – I really wanted to remember this summer. But like they said, I've got many years before me. After all, I'm only fifteen. But I hope that I'd never forget this summer. I truly, really wouldn't want that. It'd be such a pity. I'm actually scared of forgetting. Then, when I looked around the classroom, I saw an astonishing sight – everybody had their hands up.

Nathan raised an eyebrow as he observed our classroom. "That's pretty cool. So it seems like everybody's going to agree with what I have in mind," he smiled, "You can all put your hands down now. Well, after summer's over, you're all probably having all these things crammed inside your mind. Even I do. That's why I feel as if without getting all these thoughts sorted out, I won't be able to teach you guys properly. That's just the way I work." Nathan gleefully walked over to his table and rapped the wooden ruler.

"Anyway, it's the first week and nobody's really teaching anything. We're all pretty chilled, aren't we? So, I've decided to do something special for the first few Psychology lessons. I'm going to ask you to pretend you're writing a letter … to me. Yes, to me. But you can decide whether you want to keep it private or not. The privacy is all yours to decide. Of course I'd love to read what you guys have written, but I'm not forcing you, okay? It's going to be like writing a journal, except that I'd prefer you write it in story form. So everything you're thinking, everything you've thought – it's going to be inside this little story. How you've changed. How you've decided to live your life. I'm going to write mine as well. And after every lesson, we're going to have someone volunteer telling something about what you've written or about your holiday or whatever. It's just for the sake of fun. Okay?" Nathan said, his eyes twinkling with anticipation.

I raised my hand up – if I was going to write about my holiday with the Sohmas, which he definitely wasn't going to have even a single peek, I will not write by hand. My story will be far too long. "Can we like, use the computers or something? I don't think I can …"

"Of course!" Nathan cut in, "I've even thought about that! We're going to use the computer lab!"

I grinned in return. "Cool!" I replied, just as eager as he was.

So here it is – my first part of the story. And it's not exactly like a letter, but what the heck!

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Yup, there it is. In the next few chapters, I may be inventing certain ... stuff. I'm just hoping that the readers (if I have any) would understand. Plus, I've not watched the anime before, because they don't show it in this region, but I've painfully torn a hole in my pocket to purchase the manga. And so far, I've only bought three books so far. That's around chapter twelve. I'm not sure. But that's about it. I still don't know much about the characters and all. Please forgive me. Sumimasen and sayonara! Ja ne (hopefully)! 


	2. How it all started

**Chapter Two**

**How it all started**

As soon as I emerged from the airport, as soon as I felt the cool rush of an evening breeze brush past my face and into the air-conditioned airport, I felt something else. Something I had so yearned for so long. It had been long. Yes, long. I pushed all the tiredness out of my mind, heart, soul and body. Out you go, stupid tiredness! What replaced the inside of me felt so familiar, yet so new. Freedom. I needed space from my life. From my overprotective mother. From seeing my father being pushed by my mother. From my boyfriend. Oops, my mistake. My _ex_-boyfriend. From betraying best friends. But perhaps, most of all, I guess I needed to get away from me. Who I had morphed into. For a while. Of course it wasn't permanent. I think I'm still a spoilt kid, I thought to myself and tucked an irritating strand of fringe behind my ears. Well! What exactly could I do about it? I sighed. Then I became a little cheeky. All I could do now was … have fun! I tightened my backpack and skipped out of the sliding glass doors. Freedom. Again, it hit me just as the wind had slapped me in the face. It was a good thing, I reminded myself.

I hadn't been to Japan for a while. I now am, I thought giddily to myself. This was exactly what I needed. You could never guess how tired I was, Nathan! It was a whole world of pretend. It was a world where I smiled when I was breaking down inside. A world where I pretended my life was perfect when it was actually so turned upside down, I couldn't find my place anywhere. It was a world where I dreaded looking forward to a new day, because it would be a day full of lies I had to lie. I hated it. But I couldn't break out of it. Sometimes I see the lives I actually help to ruin and I feel so weird inside. I was so cold, I realized. I felt so damp inside. Wet and everything was mossy. I was disgusting. I was incorrigible. And then I look at myself and see that I was not having any fun anyway – a waste of time. I could still hear the words Pam screamed to me one day. "You're nothing more than a fake! I don't see you being truly happy anyway! That's probably why you want to pull us down, so that nobody else can be happy. You pull everybody down, you … you … you insecure fake!"

I can still feel that emotion rushing up to my head. It wasn't anger. It definitely wasn't. I was embarrassed, shocked and stunned. She had hit the spot. It was the truth. But still, I wasn't going to let her see me. Typical, wasn't it? I could feel my urge to punch her and yell, "So what? You goin' to tell me how to run my life now?" But no. I had to keep my cool. I had to be the girl everyone thought I was. I was just going to shrug it off and laugh like it didn't matter. Then everybody would be saying, "Pam's so stupid." "Pam's just so perverse." And while they say that, they'll be saying, "Super-nice Sayu didn't make a big fuss out of it." "Yes, nice, nice Sayu." "Unlike Pam." I then brushed past Pam, knocking her shoulder gently, keeping so cool and graceful – taking big, sure strides. But inside, I was shaking. My heart was quivering, as if there was a mini earthquake within me. She grabbed my hand, stopping me from walking away.

"Why? You scared or somethin'?"

I turned around. Be careful, I warned myself. Keep cool. "I'm sorry?" I said, remembering to paste a super-big smile on my lips.

Pam folded her arms, defeated, but still undefeated. It kind of intimidated me – but could Sayu be intimidated? Of course not! "You heard me," her voice said, loud and bold. She probably was thinking that even if she died, even if her reputation was completely ruined, even if she would be scarred for life because high school was a nightmare, she wouldn't care. Because, the truth is, I had already ruined it for her. She probably wanted to murder me then. "Don't smile at me like that. You're so fake!"

I felt all eyes on me – by then, there already was a little crowd which gathered, most probably to see how Pam was making fool out of herself. Or perhaps they were there for something else? I pondered, but couldn't think of another reason. But would it be because … they were curious to see if Pam was saying the truth? "You're so fake!" Pam's words still echoed in my mind. Would they see through me? Well, what happened next assured me that they didn't. Or at least, well, they chose not to.

"Shut up, Pam!" I heard someone else shout from the crowd. "Yeah, just stop talking!" "Don't think you can just talk to Sayu like this! You're nothing but low." No, I was the low one, I thought sadly to myself – but I couldn't bring myself to stop whatever they were saying. I couldn't bring myself to tell them the truth. I was disgusting. I just let them continue bringing her down, while Pam … she must have been completely defeated inside. My eyes were fixed to Pam, who was falling on her knees and tears streaming down endlessly.

I heard her mutter. "She took everything away from me. She took away my happiness and let me live in this hell where everybody was against people like me. She took away my faith. She even took away my boyfriend. I … I …" Then she looked up at me, who was staring down at her. With eyes full of raging hate. But she held it all inside her. She boxed it all up and with a slightly shaky voice, spoke. "Perhaps, life's just this way, isn't it? Like, if we were in the ancient Indian times, where the chaste system was in use, you would probably belong to the kings and princesses. Born that way. And I, will never be able to get out of this misfit chaste. I'm even lower than your servant," she paused, "your Royal Highness." Full of sarcasm. But also, there were hints of the hurt she felt. She was probably sad that she had to say that, but what the heck. She also meant to let everyone see how they were like my little servants.

And everybody had heard what she'd said. They still refuse to see what she had tried to make them see. And I guess that was how I got my nickname – Princess.

I took a deep breath in. Every time when somebody addressed me as a Princess, I'd have that horrid memory flash back. Didn't anybody see how awful it was? It was as if Pam's tears were my pride. But I still stuck my head up, in made-up pride and smile and laugh along.

"So, your Highness is coming along with us?" I heard a girl's voice say loudly in Japanese. (Dear Nathan, since this is a letter, I'm most probably going to translate Japanese to English here.) Out of habit, naturally, I spun around to see where the voice was coming from. A blonde girl. But duh, it obviously wasn't for me. I slapped my forehead. This was supposed to be a vacation! Forget about my life in the 'other' world for a while. As I was about to turn around, I caught sight of the young boy the blonde was speaking to. He saw me gazing at him and held my eyes for a while. He was … I don't really know the proper words to explain how I felt, but he was gorgeous. Simply magnificent. I hadn't seen boys that pretty before! He had the perfect eyelashes framing his beautiful purplish eyes. Those eyes were super-huge, neatly set inside his delicate and small face. His stature was slim, looking rather fragile. It was quite a breathtaking sight, that boy. It seemed like a whole minute passed and the world just melted away suddenly. I can't describe the feeling inside me when I looked into his eyes and he, returning my gaze. t was as if we had met before.

Then another girl popped her head in front of that gorgeous boy's and our eye contact broke. I snapped out of my trance and shook my head, knocking some sense into it. "What're you looking at?" a girl asked. "Did you even hear what we were talking about?" an angrier, irritated voice sounded from the background. "Shut up, fur ball," the gorgeous boy snapped. I had to bite my lip to stop myself from bursting out in laughter at that nickname – fur ball. Guess they had a life. I shrugged. And I guess I had my own life to bother about. I turned around and continued walking. I had to find a hotel, and if I didn't remember wrongly, it would be around …

I took a sharp turn and what greeted me was the sight of towering gates. Glinting golden in the red and orangey, evening sunlight. Inside, I saw the building of a hotel in the midst of swimming pools surrounded by palm trees and other facilities. And beyond all those, I caught a glimpse of a beach. Private. Clean. Full of new people. I saw the ocean glittering, as if there were tiny diamonds scattered all over the surface of it. It was a light blue-green, tainted with the red and orange sunlight. I breathed in what smelt like the ocean. I loved the ocean. It was like, connected with me somehow. I don't know how, but I love the ocean. Imagine all the life underneath. Were there even mermaids? Probably. And then, I also loved to look at sunsets and sunrises, especially near the ocean. I loved the depth of the ocean. Never-ending, it seemed. I grinned and walked through the gates as soon as the security guards opened it. "Thank you! Have a nice day!" I said.

They nodded in return, stiff and stern-looking. "Good day to you, miss."

I walked on and managed to find my way to the main building. I walked straight to a counter and took out my passport and my wallet.

"Hello!" the person behind the counter greeted me happily.

I nodded my head in acknowledgement. "Good afternoon."

"Are you here to check into the hotel, miss? It certainly looks like it." And then she laughed a gay laugh.

"Oh, yes, I am," I replied, smiling.

"What kind of room would you prefer, miss?"

"I'm not picky," I told her cheekily. Her smile grew bigger and she stared on eagerly, waiting politely for me to tell her what kind of room I'd like. "I guess I'll just go for an average room. You know, as long as it has a bathroom and all that necessities. Cupboard. Mini fridge. Dressing table. Of course, a bed."

"Okay," she said and then glanced briefly at her computer screen and clicked this and that. "How long would you be staying?"

"I'm not sure." I paused. "Perhaps now, I'll stay for a week. But then I might change it to two weeks. I don't know. You guys allow that?"

Her smile spoke for itself. "We're flexible, miss, just like most other hotels are," she said confidently. "Of course, all we want is for you to pay the bills cleanly," she added cheekily.

Okay then! I flipped my wallet open and slid my credit card out. I handed it to her. She took it cheerfully and then bent down and did some stuff. I waited patiently, tapping my fingers on the counter. Suddenly, the clerk popped back up and her smile had somehow vanished. In my heart, I knew something was not right. But still, being Sayu, I grinned and pretended that I didn't notice anything was wrong, waiting for her to say something first.

"Your credit card isn't working," she told me simply after a full second of silence. There was a hint of coldness in her voice already.

I almost fainted. My knees grew weak, but fortunately, I was holding onto the counter. I quickly recovered from my shock, springing back. "What? No, I'm sure it's working. Could you please check it again?" Inside, my heart was pounding so hard, it almost came out of my chest. I was praying, when the lady politely bent down again and probably tried to work my credit card. If it was true, I would die! I quickly took out my wallet and frantically tore open all the compartments. I had only a few US dollars and some coins – and they were so little that even if I summed them up, it wouldn't be enough to even stay one night! Needless to say, I was stranded here. Needless to say, I didn't have enough money to get a flight back home. I didn't know what else to think. Or do. The lady came up again. She held out her hand and my credit card. My nightmare has just started, I panicked. I took back my card.

"I'm so sorry," the lady said.


	3. Live Sacrifice?

**Disclaimer: I do not own any character from Fruits Basket.**

Anyway, please review! Thanks. A lot.

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Chapter Three

Live Sacrifice?

The skies are dark. It's not only night, but it's also raining. And so far, I've not received anything warm, but only cold stares from the clerks behind the counter. I pretended not to see them, but I couldn't prevent my heart from breaking. I felt so unwanted. I could feel tears wanting to burst out, but of course I couldn't. Actually, I could, but then the Sayu I knew would never let tears roll if she could help it. I was cold, lonely and hungry. I had no idea what else to do. But then again, what I wanted most was to turn invisible. I wanted them to stop giving me such cold stares. Was that how others, like Pam, usually felt when we teased them cruelly and had our fun? Our fun of torturing their poor souls? I was equivalent to being a bully. I held no respect for their human souls. I would be cheeky to them, say things that would touch their most sensitive part in their bruised soul and do all sorts of horrid things. Things that I wouldn't want to be done to me. I sighed and wiggled deeper, if I could wiggle any deeper, into my coat.

I was ready to sleep, stay the night in the guest lounge at the hotel. At the same time, thoughts and questions flooded my mind. I think somebody had blocked my account on purpose – my very own blood mother. You see, I had a quarrel with her before I decided to fly over to Japan. She wanted me to stay. I had wanted to get away for a while. I told her she was caging me – I needed my space. Then she said, in quite a hurt tone, that we never did anything like a proper family should and I told her she was right. She told me to stay so we could. I told her we shouldn't need to plan. Proper families do stuff proper families should – they don't plan it. Then it becomes abnormal. Weird. My mother continued, saying that she had specially moved the whole family over to this town so we could be a little more together, but instead, I took to flying overseas as and when I felt like it, making things worse. That was when all my emotions rushed to my head as I remembered how I had to leave my friends and everybody else in the city when we had to move here. But my mother? My mother didn't quit her job. She couldn't bear to. Of course she couldn't bear to! I was so angry. I couldn't bear to leave my friends but yet I had to. It started with her going to the city every monthly to do her job. But now, she's taken it to a whole new level. I get to see her only once each month. Sometimes even once for three months. It's been so many years and it's as if I didn't have a mother. She'd just come home for a week at most, say hi and then retreat to her room to do her work, come out for meals and that's the most. She doesn't even know little things about me. Like, for example, I hate French fries. Or that I hate myself. And I didn't feel like telling her. And then there's my father, stuck in between both my mother and I. He'd fly over here and there, too, because he's a businessman. I mean, he does sometimes come back to see me, even more often then my mother does. But still, he flies everywhere around the world. Talk about our family getting even more together. I was so mad when she told me she wanted us to be like a normal family. Yeah, normal my foot! I gritted my teeth in anger.

Suddenly, I felt a finger tapping my shoulder lightly. I looked up. "Excuse me," a clerk guy said in halting English, "But we'll be closing soon. I must tell you to leave now or else you'll be trapped here in the night. No air-con, no food and if you should feel ill, nobody would be here. Plus, we never let simply anybody stay the night."

He was right. But wouldn't being outside, in the streets, even worse? "Please," I begged him in Japanese, "Let me stay the night. I promise, I'll leave the next morning. I have nowhere else to go! I … I can't go out there," I admitted. It was raining. The streets will be dirty. "And you know how dangerous it is for young ladies to sleep out in the streets at night," I decided to add, batting my eyelashes at him.

But the look on his face was stern – it said what I didn't need to hear. How could people be so cold? I mulled over. But then again, I guess he needed to keep his job. If he allowed me to stay the night when the rules stated that they couldn't simply allow anybody to, he'd probably get fired. And I didn't think I wanted anymore people hurt because of me. And my selfishness. Reluctantly, I slowly edged out of my seat and tried to find my umbrella. I found one! I thanked my lucky stars that I had even brought it. In circumstances like these, it never does you any good to think negative. It's just like a situation when you lost an arm during an accident. Thinking of it positively, you'd have to thank your 'lucky' stars that you didn't loose your head. I gave the clerk a weak smile and proceeded to get out of the hotel. I sighed as I slowly trod out of the hotel gates. Actually, trying to look at my situation positively was kind of ironic. I didn't even have a home to go to. Positive? I didn't think so.

As soon as I spotted a bus stop, I quickly rushed to it. I probably had to spend the night there. I didn't even know what else to do the next morning. Probably I'd stink. I sighed. Then I perked up a little – when I realized that I had relatives in Japan! But … it's only useful if I could remember where they stayed. I had no clue. I hunched my shoulders as a sign of defeat. I can't even remember half of my relatives. Now, come to think of it, my father always avoided talking about his family members as much as he could. And since nobody forced anybody to say things they never wanted to say or talk about, he didn't tell us a single thing about his side. Even mother supported his decision. Every time I ask him something as trivial as, "Dad, d'ya have any siblings in Japan?" He'd look lost for a while and then my mother would snap, "He does, he does. Now continue eating your dinner." Dad would place his hand on mom's arm gently. "Don't be mad at her for asking," and then facing me, he said, "Yes, I do. In fact, a number of them. Around twelve. You know, we'll usually have these big family gatherings …" He'd tell me a lot, but he never once attended one. Perhaps he did, but he never told me, then.

"Girl," I heard a rough voice call. I turned to my right, where the voice was coming from. And sitting upon a seat was a guy, looking as if he hadn't bothered to look into the mirror for days. His hair was all over the place. He had an untidy stub on his chin. He had smears of mud or dirt all across his face. Not a good sight. Not a good sign, either. I started to panic, but thankfully I didn't show it. Thanks to lots of practice. I kept my calm, straight face. I made so much effort, yet felt so tender. It was as if I just twitched a little bit, my whole mask would crack and what I felt would really show. My heart started to pound. I could hear every beat loudly in my ears. "You're not deciding to sleep here tonight, are you?" he asked roughly.

"N-no," I lied, "Of course not!" Then I pretended to look at my watch. "Oh! Look at the time. I really must get going." With that, I jumped of my seat and gathered all my belongings.

"To where?"

"Oh, you know, home."

"Yeah, right. You're obviously a traveler." He eyed my big backpack.

"I … I'll be going to my aunt's home. I'm just visiting. Dropping by, you know."

"Wait!"

"No, I'm really late …"

"Don't think you can just …" his voice was starting to sound sinister.

"Bye!"

Suddenly, a dark figure emerged from the foggy and unclear background. "Don't let her," the figure said. My heart nearly jumped out of its ribcage. My mind told me to run immediately, but my feet was numb! "You'd better do as I tell. I can sense the Kami getting angrier and angrier each moment we delay his live sacrifice." My heart practically stopped beating for a whole few seconds. I was soon going to be live sacrifice! I was not only scared, but angry. What did I look like, a chicken? To be cut up into pieces and placed in front of their God? And then my meat would deteriorate. And then flies would start eating up my flesh. I shuddered at the thought. Stop thinking, I scolded myself, and get on with running! It's your life to save. If I couldn't make it … then my mother would really regret cutting of my connection with my account, I thought. But what the heck, it's my life! Quickly, I sprinted as fast as I could. I could hear them take after me. All I could think of was that if I died, I would be dying in the hands of insane men who only saw me as food.

"Come back here!" I heard them yell. They were crazy – asking me to go back to them when I knew I was going to be live sacrifice. I almost couldn't believe my luck. Was I in a dream? It couldn't be, right? As I ran, I ran further and further, I got more and more lost. Soon, I couldn't see the road, or the bus stop, or a glimpse of light from the city anywhere. I was lost. In a place full of trees, quiet roads and some hills. I didn't know whether the psychos were still after me. I couldn't hear anything, except the rain and my shoes squishing the muddy ground. I was so scared. I could feel my fingers tremble. It wasn't a holiday anymore. I dropped my umbrella, letting the rain wash down on me and I cried.


End file.
